Scrambled Thoughts; and Pessimistic Overtones

Hello fine people of the blogosphere!

It is about 3:00am and like most nights these days I just can’t sleep. School has all but ended for the year and I have literally nothing to do during my day. As fate would have it (or shear stupidity) I am left without a job for the summer and all of this free time (wasted time) has been spent pondering what exactly it’s all about.

I’ll elaborate, but first let me paint you a picture.

I spend my days staring at my ceiling, looking for jobs, to no avail, and wondering what are we all working towards? We go to class for 4 years, maybe take another college program, keep working our seemingly dead-end jobs, and stride for this utopian state where our loans are paid and we are safe and secure – but laying here staring at my ceiling, it just sounds like a pile of student loan sized dung.

Now, call me pessimistic (as I’m sure you are) but man sometimes things just don’t work out shooting for this image that we may or may not have in our minds. If you look lower on my blog you will see plenty of screenshots and process work from school and thinking about it kinda just makes me sick. Maybe I’m just tired of spinning my wheels, hoping to get a sudden burst of speed to “progress” towards a better tomorrow; and maybe I’m just currently defeated and haven’t found the motivation to attempt true responsibility again. Not sure, but I have been thinking, maybe I should take a break from this progression. Finances suck, I’m not confident in my abilities and I think I’m a little burnt out.

I could take a year off, start that podcast I’ve always wanted to start; start a video commentary with some friends about video games and get back up on that proverbial horse; pick up croquet, I dunno I just spit-ballin’ here. This will need some more thought but I figured I would present it here first because I just love spewing my unorganized thoughts onto the internet. It’s somewhat of a hobby of mine.

Okay, I’m done for now, but here’s another tune for the sake of continuity.

Cheers!

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