I spent the entire day cooped up in my room with my door partially closed, and barely any light shinning through my window – on account of the gray clouds stealing my sunlight! – while I finished the perks of being a wallflower, A novel by Stephen Chbosky. It wasn’t a long book, and was an easy read (tailored to my reading habbits; which are almost none-existent. But I am getting better!) but I really enjoyed reading it. I didn’t especially love the book, but it was just a book that was enjoyable to follow and included some drama and, basically a year of high school from the point of a more or less socially awkward kid. I did pick out a few points in it that I liked though.
The biggest thing was that I saw some eerie similarities to the main character, Charlie, and myself, excluding the fact that he has a few physiological problems. But it was close to the end of the book where I just got the chills from seeing so many things in this kid that I saw in myself. And I just wondered a few things. Like how ways we, ourselves, live emotionally can be so similar to completely different people. Whether they are due to home environments or even the things we watch on T.V or read in novels just like this one. Like I live my life pretty passively, I wouldn’t consider myself a full-blown wallflower, but I generally don’t “participate” in things, I just kinda watch them go by. And that’s one thing I would really love to change about myself because its a little depressing sometimes. I believe in fate and destiny, and I believe whatever happens happens for a reason and it’s meant to be as a part of life. But I’m not sure I really want to believe that.
(I also just saw the movie The Adjustment Bureau last night and it was also getting me thinking about fate and such, just to add some context).
I’m not sure what I want to believe, but just watching things go by and just hoping for the best, and thinking that whatever the outcome is is meant to happen, doesn’t seem like living. I think I’m just too patient with things. I can wait for years if I think that it’s meant to happen.
Anyway, Charlie pretty much feels and lives the same way and doesn’t say that he is going to change that about himself, but it shows through in his actions. So I kind of got to compare the way Charlie lives to my own life and had me thinking about living my life the way I want and not what other people need. And I’m not sure whether that sounds right or wrong, but it sounds like a good thing to at least think about in this point in my day.
I really did enjoy reading the book I just didn’t love it, and anything you can compare to your own life is worth consuming in my opinion. Those are the best kinds of consumption. Ones that you can reflect towards yourself and that help you to think about who you want to be. So I recommend it to anyone who is either socially awkward or into the “roller coaster” of “growing-up”… I just read the back of the novel for those cliched quotes, if you must know my secret.